about the convo

in all fairness tony did ask her to stop but i dont see why she dragged up the past when i had SERVERE mental issues i was hallucinating and was convinced i was seeing these things after my best friend died my eating was a little off but i wasn't anorexic and i would never claim to be one of my best friends suffers from it so that would make me twisted and im not about to lie about something like that
i cut as a coping mechanism when i saw the blood going i associated it with the pain as i washed the blood away i was washing the pain away but it was a cycle i felt good then guilty then depressed again its deffinately something i dont wanna get back in to but at the moment its harder to resist i would never open up to my parents about this either i put them through enough before when i was doing it wouldnt do it again
my fiction tattoo has helped it covers some scars and literally two days before i had it done i was so close to doing it but thinking of getting my tattoo done i knew i wouldnt be able to hide it and i wouldnt be able to get it done
I wish i was fully better the truth is every now and again i do feel totally lost and worthless its hard to comprehend why sometimes
:/ i scare a lot of people off cause they worry that depression is contagious or they worry that im constantly going to be a snivelling blood covered mess
its nothing like that im totally normal i laugh i smile i like the same things as i used to its just sometimes i get a bit down and sad but its not contagious
i just wish people would see that then i wouldnt feel so lonely all the time :/
<3