So it has been a week!

And not a very exciting one to be perfectly honest
I can't even remember most of what happened this week but I know I spent some time with Karleigh as usual her mum bailed on her AGAIN!
Saw john and Ebs they are back from Egypt now :D They go back in August
The dog chewed through one of my best bras after pulling it from the washing basket but thats about it!

Long day!

Ugh all I'v done today is washing and drying and tidying up!
The dog was a bitch when I walked her I've sorted out nearly every scrap of clothing in this whole house even in my parents room!
and I got no thanks what so ever!
lily may is puking so im baby sitting tomorrow as well as doing more washing and drying and folding and organizing
I'm absolutely nakered Im struggling to keep my eyes open my neck hurts and so does my head i really should go to bed but i cant be arsed i dont want to
Now im sitting on the floor watching eastenders with my mum and dad with the dog on my leg!
fabulous!!

12th may 2010

not an awful lot has happened since i last updated except i cooked all most threw uncooked chicken across the kitchen got cheese sauce on the back door turned my fridge in to dave (ill post a pic later) and had an argument with my dad all good times
I dont really remember much from today i got up some where around eleven and went down tescos after bugging my mum for a bit I've felt like crap all day to be honest cause i had a late night/ early morning
I had something to eat chicken and mushroom pie FTW and a frijj banana milkshake BANG  goes the diet lol while i was down tescos i saw one of the old "it" girls with a pram with a new born in it im not sure if its hers or her mums cause i havent seen her in months and i know her mum was pregnant
I found out one of the girls from my class is pregnant everyone is getting pregnant! I would like kids but not now cause i know i wouldnt cope with them so im gonna wait until i know i can raise them and support them :) *sensible shannen*
had a row with my dad over the washing up cause Tuesday i cleaned the entire house top to bottom polished hoovered sprayed scrubbed washed everything and then wednesday i done the washing up and cooked dinner now hes wanting me to do the washing up again!
Hes told me that im going out job hunting next week jokes on you big man I've got no cvs left HA!
I'm just sick of him always trying to tell me what to do i wann know how long this is gonna carry on for am i gonna get a phone call when i 30 asking if im doing the washing up?? it just pisses me off im out of school with depression ffs! that generally means i cant get a fucking job you knob head!!!
I cant wait for tomorrow I really fucking can't Karleighs parents are away for the weekend and im at hers till sunday night when we are both down mine it gets me away fron here it gets me away from dick face and i cant fucking wait!!! tomorrow needs to hurry up and get here!
update later
<3

Wooo hundreth post!

Well its ten in the morning and I put some washing out bathed the dog and am now going to put the washing i put out back in the washing machine cause the dog broke the line!
I wouldnt mind but I had my zebra throw on it and it smelt lush and now its all muddy and covered in grass! all the clean towels and clothes are filthy again!
I'm trying to watch Jerry Springer but sky living it keeps flickering and jumping and its making me feel sick!
Hehe teen mom is now on my TV its supposed to put you off of kids but I just want a baby more
I think I'm gonna have some corn flakes cause today I start my diet and mum is in bed with a bad back so no one can stop me muhuhaha!
right washing goes in, food, make up, hair, dog walk. all good fun!
update later
<3

Riverside Fire & Rescue Service Weekend :)

So this weekend I have been totally rushed off my feet. On Saturday I got up at 8:15 to get picked up at just gone 9 to accompany my local fire and rescue service on a school visit at 9:45 I was eventually picked up and taken to wear we normally keep the engines ready to have left by eleven and get to the school for twelve to be ready to open at one. Due to a faulty fire engine we ended up leaving the holder at 12:45 and getting to the school and opening late at 1:30 after a long day of standing in the rain and dealing with kids we had more problems with our 1994 Dennis Rapier and this put us getting home at risk we needed to do something fast cause it was getting late we eventually got it working and we were all still in good spirits but I could not wait to get home my feet hurt my back hurt and I was cold and wet!
By the time I got home it was just arguments so I took the dog for a walk and had a curry down my nans with karleigh.

My mentee Emma being subtle with a bottle of coke

Emma the bag thiefe once again being so subtle and yes that is my bag 

Me eating ice cream and making a shelter out of the pump locker :)

I got in to bed and my bed has never been comfier I checked my texts one last time and had one saying I was being picked up again at 8:15 to go to wrotham and do fire cover for an event on their show ground this took place today but it was a total wash out it was wet cold and miserable I spent most of the day in the motors eating :/ had a walk around once or twice but thats about it the event was not supposed to finish until 5 this evening but due to weather conditions all the exhibitors packed up early and left by 5:20 we were half way home

how ever I saw some gorgeous old cadillacs that I fell in love with I've always been in love with cadillacs since I was small I adore them and to see two vintage Elvis Presley style Caddys was amazing I was sad to see them leave to own a Cadillac is one of my biggest asiprations :)

The pink one

the black one

Gorgeous :'D

Also today they had Kojack an American Bald Eagle his wing span from tip to tip was 7 feet and he weight little over 2 stone this bird was a monster he could eat a goose in one sitting  but was still so graceful and beautiful at the same time

Kojack during his display

FML I've been so damn busy today!

All I've done is clean and wash and dry clothes!
my little sister is doing my head in I even cooked dinner wrong.... well last night my dad told me to get dinner started before he got in so I began making my younger sisters dinner and dished it up they where eating my dad walked in and was like well wheres dinner then  I said I haven't started it yet he kicked off asking why and I said because I didn't want it to get cold before you came in I'm sorry okay? and apparently it wasn't okay I'm in the wrong again! fabullous yeah great fantastic I feel it!!!
now all my little sister is doing is winging and moaning I told her off earlier for just wanting to barge in my room with out asking and she kicked off
I've still got a load and a half of washing to dry! in such a short time! -___-
as long as I get my sisters PE kit dry by tomorrow its all okay!
I'm off to run my self a nice hot deep bath and finish changing my bed
I can't wait to just crash tonight I've had enough today!

25th may 2011

GREEEEAAAAT
karleighs got the fucking ump with me cause I went to sort my nan out and left her at home its not my fault they cant stand each other and cant be in the same room!!!!!
I only waited for sme girl to turn up so I could knock her teeth out for messing my nan around and now im in the wrong??
fgs! I'm having a fat day so thats got me down im all jiggly and bloated and ugly :/
FML!!!
ugh i don't even know what to put today my spelling is erratic and my mind is so fucking clouded
FML FML FML!!!
update later
<3

24th May 2011

so I had my blood test today and I was filled with sheer horror at the thought of them taking blood from me via needle i hate needles as she brought it towards me I grabbed karleighs hand screwed my face up and sat there virtually crying "no no no no no no no" I hated every second but afterwards I was fine again like nothing had happened I saw my aunt lesely afterwards she works at the hospital.
I'm wanting to order a new ds game off of ebay cause its like my fave game and it got lost in the last move and i was gutted! its animal crossing wildworld :) I'm a big kid but that game is addictive at the moment I'm playing cats like a grown up :)
I completely emptied the washing basket today got it all dry! I'm so prouds and I was still made to do the school run! arseholes!
I'm so fucking hungry but my mum is out and me and dad are waiting for her to get back other wise she will just kick off the stupid bitch! we had a laugh last night but that also lead to me and karleigh only getting four hours sleep cause we were all awake and watching music videos :/ not that exciting I did catapult the cat across the room he was sleeping on my legs and I sneezed and my legs spazzed and shot him in the air :)


I WATCHED GAGAS MONSTER TOUR :D love that woman shes amazing live she just put so much passion and love in to that performance she even cried a few times her self bless her aaannnnd I cleaned my gaga earphones today my lovely monster heartbeats earphones! :D hehe I love gaga I have a gaga purse but I need a new one cause the one I've got is broken :(

sooooo bored of simpsons!!
I'm gonna watch white chicks later when I get in to bed
NOW OFF TO TUMBL!!!
update later
<3

23rd May 2011

Euch! still feeling shitty I had to run up to meet my sister from school shes been getting hassle again the two little shits keep starting on her and then say that they are her best friends pkay my sister is irritating and I hate her a lot of the time but no one is allowed to pick on her but me!! and some times Kane!! but only if I let him :) she had her final HPV jab today and I didnt know and I grabbed her arm :/ eep.
I looked up a BTEC make up artistry course cause I am genuinely interested its been my dream for ages to be a make up artist for run way shows cover shoots the lot I wanted to be a model but after I scarred my self that was out of the question so I moved on to make up but this BTEC course will cost £619 for the course and books and then a further £52.30 for each exam and there are four of them! I know my mum said that she would pay for anything educational but thats a piss take.
I might report a family in my street to social services all day they have been sitting on their door step drinking and getting high their kids are running around in nappies and dirty t-shirts so close to the road the parents hit them and swear at them and always have different people in and out at all hours I only know this because my bedroom is down stairs at the front.
the neighbours are just fucking noisy pricks and all they play all day is nicole scherzinger (SLAG) bruno mars (DRUGGIE) and Adele (just plain boring)
right well I've got to get the washing in and clean the kitchen
update later
<3

23rd May 2011

hehe long time since I've updated :)
well I went to the doctors and now have to go for blood tests tomorrow but I hate needles they want to test me for anemia which is where the body doesnt have enough red blood cells this can be dangerous because reb blood cells supply oxygen to body tissues so fingers crossed I get the all clear on that one the second blood test is for thyroid glads which are in your neck they release the hormone that helps control the metabolism I don't under stand what could be wrong with them :/
I start psychotherapy on thursday at 9:30 in the morning so karleigh is staying round on wednesday to take the little one to school I'm actually quite worried about it to be honest because I've never been to the place where I have to go for it I don't know the person I don't know what to talk about.
Me and Karleigh went on an expodition the other day lmao we went down this road we had never been down and ended up some where we didnt know carried on walking until we ended up outside canada house a place I know all too well!
hmmm I better go and find the washing basket so I can put the washing out on the line :)
update later
<3

09th May 2011

today was bad
no ifs no buts just fucking terrible horrible awful how ever you want to say it
I haven't honestly felt this low in a long time all day I've put on a brave face but now im sitting thinking I'm my own worst enemy all day ive put on a brave face even at times been cocky and laughed about all the shit thats gone on ive tried not to think about it but ive probably just lost quite a few people who i cared about and became close to
so heres the story
I didnt get a lot of sleep last night just because so this morning i slept in and was dead to the world i didnt hear my phone go off i wake up to 5 texts from various people but 2 from my weird creepy obsessive ex saying that he was "leaving me" and he still wanted to be friends this was the biggest wake up call and im sitting there like hold up we where actually TOGETHER? i was totally unaware of this! any way i keep going through my texts and find some from this girl that has never really liked me for fuck knows how long saying that she had gone through his texts and asking if i thought he deserved a response i replied telling her i had only just got up and asking if it had anything to do with her and all day ive been getting random abuse and  put my sullivan head on and got cocky and thought it was all great fun up until now when im actually sat here thinking about it
because ive fallen out with him i cant do my fire training because ive fallen out with her i now have to watch my back where ever i go because shes a dirty fighter
now im sitting just collecting my thoughts about it all and ive just realized how much ive actually lost im torturing my self with these thoughts and making my self feel so much worse
im trying not to cut i dont want to fall back in to that my brother is kindly distracting me tomorrow by colouring my tattoo cause if its sore and pretty looking i wont want to cut :/ i guess thats the logic any way
ive got karleigh here keeping me distracted but she cant be here all the time
wiggles has even said he will support me
and my hubby
i appreciate all the help i really do even if its just keeping me distacted for a little while
I never thought losing just a few people would have such an impact on me :/
i might post the convo just cause i feel like im holding it all in i feel like its a dirty secret :/
ill update later
<3

8th May 2011 18:39-18:52

today has been long stressful and frankly quite depressing
it started out okay until i was sat on the door step for 20 mins with karleigh then i went shopping up the town with my sister to buy all the ingredients for dinner tonight that never actually happened cause mum thought we had chicken and we dont :/ not her fault but i did get the ump quite badly
after i took ten minutes in my room to calm down i went out to the kitchen got the fish out of the freezer heated the oven up and began to lay the fish out ona baking tray only for my dad to critisize and my mum to sit there bitching about how she didnt want fish this pissed me off so i went and sat out the garden where my drunk neighbour was screaming about how much of a lazy lump i am and how much i piss her off by listening to shit she said shes gonna write to the council and try to get us kicked out and if that doesnt work shes gonna "kick our fucking manky teeth out and then knock their shit hole of a house down with the cunts still in it" totally uncalled for this lead to another argument with mum cause i lost my temper and had a major bitching sesion about them my mum said wow aren't you grown up such a big girl you are im quivering -__- just the attitude she should have :/
so i go to my room and sit down start blogging and have them running up and down out side and bitching about my right out side my bedroom window (my bedroom is on the ground floor) this was going on for about 20-30 minutes
i dont know why they have got this personal hate campaign against me i haven't done anything wrong so me and my mum play loud music occasionally but its during the day whilst we are doing house work we dont let our kids run around and play with other peoples front gates i dont let a 16 year old bully a 13 year old as she walks home i dont sing at the top of my lungs to adele at nearly midnight and i deffinately dont fucking stand on a wall out side wearing next to nothing groping my tits shoving my hand down the front of my underwear whilst having phone sex with my boyfriend (i dont have one thats why) so how they can say we are bad neighbours is beyond me
Ive been texting mt hubby today he seems to have lightened my mood a little but then again he always does :) i do loves my hubby teehee
i might update later depends how i feel i knacker my self out when i get wound up
<3

07 May 2011 22:12

today has been BAD!

my memory stick broke and its full of school work and pictures of my friend who passed away :( all my musics gone everything
the neighbours called me fat and that started an argument they where pathetic to shut OUR gate i have no idea why but i played music really loud to get back at them :) i found out the fat slag nextdoor has some sort of mental problem which i dont actually believe cause shes a total bitch and always taking the piss out of my mental instability! NURGHH!
i went down tescos and bought a vienetta ice cream slab and yes i ate the whole thing im an emotional eater and ill admit to that but after i eat i feel guilty which is stupid :/ but its all a part of me and i should learn to love that
well that was deep :)
stan smith is in family guy O.o riiiight

im making dinner tomorrow i really wish i had moved on to catering at college instead of performing arts warren said catering is stressful cause its a small space and a long day and tempers run high so i would probably just get thrown out
but any way im flattered that my mum is allowing me to cook from scratch it means she trusts me and wants to try my food :)
im making chicken rarebits it sounds delish and ill post a recipie in a sec
warrens out tonight and he was texting me while i was trying to clean my room it took a while lol
hes still my hubby though and im happy hes taking time out for him self he deserves it hes done alot for other people lately including me so if anyone deserves a night out its deffinately him :)
i started taking the pill again today i had the week off thing and now its back to normal again i was petrified i would forget to take it :/
ill probably update tomorrow now cause its getting late
<3

6th of may 2011 19:01-19:10

MY HEAD IS GOING TO FUCKING EXPLODE

I wanna be a kid but the whole time my parents are arguing im made to be the adult all day ive been cooking cleaning and everything else i walked down to dockside to get money from my mum to top up the electric went down the school to collect the youngest and she was fine when she got home now shes being a BRAT shes screaming and shouting and thinking she owns the place my mum and dad aren't doing anything about it im trying my hardest to ignore her cause if i go and sort her out ill lose my temper and ive kept it for this long but its slowly slipping -____-
all i wanna do is run out side and scream iam that stressed out about everything thats gone on today its just all got on top of me and im in the worst mood going
mums in a dad mood cause of dad dads in babd mood cause of mum and im in a bad mood cause im exepected to do everything!! all cause they cant grow up!
I had a good morning i guess making donuts with karleigh was a laugh even if they do look like overgrown monster chicken balls it was still pretty good fun and very messy :)
been texting my wonderful hubby most of the day he stayed up the whole night and fell asleep ten mins before he was supposed to go out bless him :)
im off to tidy my room and have a bath
update later
<3

6th may 2011 02:39 am- 02:55 am

this looks so good right now :/

my bed just not that comfy at all right now i just cant seem to get comfortable:/

i really dont wanna pull another all nighter but it looks as though its going that way i will end up killing my self eventually lol i dont mind the longer i stay up the more chilled i seem to be the next day

I still havent actually recovered from the fact that my mum stole my fish finger sandwich!

been texting the hubby again all night hes such a trooper hes got to be up and out before half eight and is still up bless him hes gonna be knackered although a few cans of monster he dhould be okay lol

im now watching the bratz movie for the third time cause im too damn lazy to change the dvd and its  actually a pretty good film lol

i dont know what im doing tomorrow probably fuck all again but im hoping that tthe girls are down my nans so that ive got the evening to my self and karleigh can stay over shes stayed so often if feels weird to have a big bed to my self :/

I FOUND MY WAND :D

now thats out of the way :P lmao

spent most of the evening lusting over this one song ive got a different version of it but now ive found the original im in love lol its been playing for most of the night and thats quite sad

i really should get up and turn the heater off i cant breath but it was so cold in here cause of the two fucking vents ive got in my room -___- stupid landloard put them in

i got a message earlier asking how old my daughter is im sat there like "bitch i dont even have kids!" i was really shocked people actually think im a slut so i wanna be a model that makes me a slut well if you think that then obviously you are small minded arent you??

urrrgh my back hurts still!

im going to be a rebel and post the lyrics to the song im playing on repeat :D its really soppy its stupid its was orginally by britney spears then joanne and then emilia de poret the only version i havent downloaded would be the britney spears version

i cant be asked to do my nails any more and ive only done one hand :/ oops

maybe i should have waited until tomorrow, although i can remember how i learned that nails can actually tan! when i was about 13 i was in my "goth" phase my nails where permenantly black until one day my mum made me take my nail varnish off to let my nails "breath" i was gobsmacked cause my hands where an olive colour and my nails where pure white! lol it looked very odd but very funny

ive worn my brain out and now i think the heat is getting to me cause im starting to droop a little bit

oh well lets see what today has got lined up for me :D

update later

<3

19:59

just finished dinner (i had bbq things chips and pasta shapes) and my mum and dad have been arguing over the washing so im hiding in my room i really cant be fucked with any of their fuckery at the moment
ive got a stomach ache and im really fucking hot i just generally feel shit :/
ive got to wait another hour before i can have a bath cause my mums in their at the moment and she always takes ridiculous amounts of time
okay im not perfect but at least when i have a bath an improvements been made im convinced she just wallows for ages and wastes her time that way
although yesterday she cleaned the kitchen for the first time in god knows how long its normally me and my dad that clean everything up so i think i might go on strike for a while lol see how she copes then
i dunno if karleighs coming round tomorrow cause she was ill today so i doubt it so im gonna make donuts instead :D first time for everything me cooking and baking who ever thought that would happen
I NEED TO GO SHOPPING i dont know why but at the moment retail therapy is so appealing i need new clothes and new shoes i just wanna shop!
its taken me up until today for me to notice that all this blog is just me rambling about shit and about my boring day :/
oh well you dont like it you dont read it :)

my hubby finished the floor he was laying today bless him all that hard work did pay off  now he can just chill out :)

update later <3

5th May 2011

blahdy blahdy blaaaaaah

At first I got up at exactly seven this morning theeen changed my mind and went back to sleep got up again at about 11.20 (lazy I know) and literally as soon as i got up i made tomato and basil muffins
I've actually memorised the recipie but I can't remember anything worth knowing

1. 2 cups of plain flour
2. 3 tbspn sugar
3. 1 teaspoon baking soda
4. 1 beaten egg
5. 1 cup milk
6. a pinch of cooking salt

and then add what ever else you want i normally add chocolate or honey something sweet
but any way
OMG karleigh is actually awake :O
now im texting my wonderful hubby warren and talking about what a nut job i used to be :D and strangley he hasn't text back :/
but apparently my cooking fetish is all part of the recovery process :/
I'm still hunting for a job and its not working >:( im starting to feel like a right failiure and im so close to giving up its not so much that i want the money i just want something to do im so bored all the time now its unreal soon enough we are gonna be swimming in muffins and other baked crap!
Am i really the only person who still likes katy price??
meh whatever ill update later :/

4th May 2011

Boring day AGAIN!!
My old performing arts class had their brook performance today :/ would have been nice to be a part of it but hey they're all bitches any way and I know what it would have been like and i cant be asked with all the bitching and arguing its pointless life is too short!
Was supposed to go to my nans but she wasnt in and im not sure i could be bothered any way :/ so i stayed home reading my mum embarrassing conversations between karleigh and vay this led to a conversation about his nuts :s not too sure why my mum was asking about his nuts but then again im not sure i wanna know :/
been texting my hubby most of the day whos been slaving over laying his mums new flooring bless him :(
spent the day with karleigh and im only putting this cause shes reading over my shoulder lmao :P awwwa i lubbs her shes a bit like thrush at times but i still lubbs her :) I've got her company all night tonight too :)
chicken for dinner i only know that cause im cooking it -___-
no plans for tomorrow yet probably play it by ear though
bleurgh im lost for what to put again
the hubby has been dog sitting again bless him he does a lot for my brother and ash and they dont even get him a can of moster to make up for it lol
i dunno what else to put so ill update later or something :)

3rd May 2011 23:14

such a looooooooooooooong boring evening!
been a bit of drama though so i guess that was kinda exciting :/
been texting my wonderful hubby (lol) most of the evening to see what hes been up to i learned that he will save me from spiders and he can lay flooring too :) he has his uses
off to nannys tomorrow i need to ring her in the morning when i get up to let her know im on my way :) dont want to scare her she calls me mortitia as it is -___- she wont drop the goth period
my back hurts for some strange reason
and i cant help but notice that this post is just rambling on and on
well i gave out relationship advice :D some friend of mine likes a girl and doesnt know how to tell her
confronted an arse hole this is why i hate face book random arse holes add me chat me up then turn in to dicks i never fall for sweet chat up lines unless i know they are genuine so this muppet shit out really
helped a friend give out medical advice woo i can stem bleeding! *feels epic*
and i noticed that my fringe is actually wonky and now im racking my brains trying to find away to sort it with out resorting to cutting it :/

im actually quite excited about seeing my nanny tomorrow i lubbs her :D

my obsessive ex wont leave me alone

annnnnd

warren made me smile like an idiot with his random kiss and the whole wifey situation lol :D thanks warren you have cheered me up a lot today <3

its a good end to an average day :)

3rd May 2011 17:33pm

right school run has been done my fave glass has been broken and now im in a fantastic mood -___- I'm the only one who ever disciplines my little sister yes she is autistic but thats no reason to be a spoilt brat and my mum and dad let her get away with it! I'm the one who gets in trouble!
the living room is now nice and tidy but my parents will probably come in and moan that i haven't done the kitchen but at least i done the living room and plus i spend most of my time out the kitchen cleaning it and it never seems to change!
I did eventually get some sleep this morning from about 6.10 to about 11.20 i was asleep im still a bit tired but ive lasted longer than this with no sleep at all so ill cope :)
ugh my room needs tidying again and ive got to get the washing in in a bit :/ such an exciting life i lead :/
at the moment im texting warren (hubby :P)  watching judge judy (-_-) and throwing a diva fit (:D)

I dunno im quite content at the moment thinking of what im doing my self for dinner and thinking of booking the bathroom yes you have to book our bathroom or there are some big arguments between me and my parents and considering i take an hour or more in the bath its just logic

mmmm now i dont know what to put so ill update later <3